Is that mud or is that splash back?

I don't often share my living arrangements with people, but when people do ask, or I do mention it, I get met with a few different reactions. The first one being a look of horror, people who would find the concept of living on a boat horrendous and that's perfectly fine, if it doesn't float your boat then that's ok, everyone is different. The second one is 'wow, that's so cool'! Whatever reaction I get though, is often followed up with a few questions which I love as these are the exact questions I asked before purchasing the boat, so let's answer some. This one is a bit of a longer read so buckle in kids!

Do you have WiFi?

Probably the most asked question! The answer is yes, yes I do. Believe me when I say I wouldn't be able to live without it, sad right? I have a 4G router on the boat which has a normal mobile phone SIM card in. A little tip, make sure you know which phone company works in your area, for Loddon only EE and O2 will pick up any signal. I also have a little TP Link box which runs off a battery, this is so I can use it when I'm not plugged into the mains electrics.

What is the toilet situation like?

I won't lie, I could probably write a whole post about the toilet but I don't think the world needs to know all the details (maybe one day when I'm running out of things to write about) so I'll summarise. A lot of boats have a flushable toilet already fitted, you do your business and it goes into a lovely tank on the boat which, when full, is pumped out. Simple, easy and stress free. Now, I will say before I go into this next bit that I can have a toilet like this installed on the boat, however, at this moment in time I have a porta potti. But not just any porta potti, I have the Thetford 92306 Porta Potti 565E, a thing of beautiful craftsmanship that makes what is essentially shitting in a plastic container that bit more luxurious. It even has an electric flush. Like I said, luxurious!

I know what you're all thinking, that doesn't sound fun at all & is kind of gross. You're partially right, however, let me tell you a little story that none of you asked for. Picture this (actually maybe don't, it's not pretty), it's 2012/2013 and I'm a cleaner in a big Tesco store, I get a phone call from Customer Service to tell me that something needs to be cleaned up in the women's toilets. Oh no I think as I wander over to the public toilets, stick a sign on the door that politely tells the public that I'm cleaning so fuck off & don't come in! Open the cubicle door and am presented with a turd laying on the floor. Someone had actually shat on the floor, and I was the unlucky soul that had to clean it up. What I'm trying to get across is that emptying the toilet on a weekly basis has nothing on that shitty experience! (pun completely intended)

There are, however, a few fun little games you can play to make the experience more enjoyable. Games like, is that mud or is that splash back? Do I look like one of those world strongest men doing the atlas stones (you know the one) as I walk with the porta potti to empty it? And, I wonder how embarrassing it would be if I slipped and fell carrying this right now? Anyway, I bet you didn't think I could write three whole paragraphs worth about a toilet did ya?

How do you get running water on the boat?

The boat has a water tank, I'm not sure how many litres it stores but I do know that it's a lot. I tend to fill the water tank up every week but I probably don't need to do it that often. A lot of the systems on the boat rely on pumps and the water is no different. Do you remember a couple of posts ago I mentioned the host of goodies under my sofa? Well, this is where the pump is located. When a tap is turned on, the pump kicks into action and pumps the water to where it needs to be, fairly simple right? We did have to replace the pump as the original was leaking and ruining the wood, this set me back just under £100 but was a fairly simple thing to fit.

How do you shower?

With warm water, soap and a flannel. The shower functions as a normal shower, I turn my immersion heater on to warm up the water and hey presto, it's shower time! I guess the only few things that are a bit different to a normal shower is the fact that the shower room doubles up as the bathroom, and I have a handy little button that I have to press to drain the water. You can see from the image above that I have strategically placed a shower curtain around the toilet to keep it dry and slotted a new duck board in the tray so it's more comfortable for the old feet. It can be a bit wet in there afterwards which is why I use the handy Karcher (stolen from my parents, sorry again mum and dad) to clean up the moisture.

How do you wash your clothes?

I have a few options when it comes to washing my clothes. The marina has a washing machine and tumble dryer I can use, my mum kindly lets me use her washing machine and tumblr dryer, or I can dunk my clothes in the Chet for a quick clean (Just kidding!) Before I bought my boat, I did look around one that did have a small washing machine inside, so it is doable!

Do you have a TV?

Yes, I have a TV in, what I like to call, the living room, to get any aerial signal the aerial ideally needs to be on the roof. I don't currently have one but I have found I don't really need it at the moment because I mainly watch everything on demand.

How are mooring fees worked out?

So, correct me if I'm wrong boat people, but I believe that most mooring fees are worked out by the length of your boat, you pay a certain fee per ft/m. Size matters in this case!

Where does your post go?

At Loddon marina there is an office where you can have post delivered to. Alternatively, if you have parents that work from home during the week you can annoy them with parcels arriving every other day (yet again, sorry mum and dad)

Is it completely different to living in a flat or a house?

In some ways yes and in some ways no! There are times when I'm sat watching TV or lying in bed where I sort of forget that I'm on a vessel floating in the water. There are other times, however, when it's pissing it down with rain and the wind is rocking the boat about where I definitely know I'm on a boat!

My honest answer to this one is, no it's not much different, things go wrong and they need to be fixed just as they would need to be in a flat. However, you have to prepared to hold yourself accountable, here's what I mean by this. If I don't fill my water tank up regularly then I don't have water, just like if I don't empty the toilet I can't use it. It's little things like this that, if they're not done, can have a bigger impact in the long run. They need to be done even if I really don't want to do them. Does that make sense? Probably not! Another major difference and a pretty important one is that I can essentially move my house if I wanted to, it's a very freeing feeling!

I think that's it for the questions, however, I'm sure I'll be able to add more along the way! This leaves me to my music recommendation and this week it's a bit of a poignant one & also possibly one of my favourite songs. This band has an utterly heartbreaking story and the meaning behind the song (to me anyway) is about living and holding onto the past, waiting/longing for a specific feeling or experience to return to you again. That was a bit deep for someone who, as of a couple of minutes ago, was talking about cleaning a strangers turd up of off the floor. Without further ado it's Her's - What Once Was